My car was broken into last night by a tasteless but thoughtful thief.
The doorbell woke me at 5:30 this morning from a deep and happy dream involving pirates and ninjas (pirates were winning of course!). Thinking it was just some kids, I rolled back over and defeated some more ninjas. Then it rang again. And again and again and agaaaain! Enough! I threw off the covers, grabbed my robe and stumbled down the stairs, just hoping it wasn’t the Jehovah’s Witnesses again. I fumbled with the keys and eventually focussed enough to get the door open.
Safety glass is so cool!
“Sir?”
Two cops. Should I run? How the hell did they find me?
“Sir? Are you the owner of a Volvo station wagon?”
Blink. Blink. Uhm… yes… yeah… I mean, sure. Uh huh… okay?
“Sir. Someone broke into your car last night. A window was busted in.”
Bastards!
“Did you have anything in the car?”
Just seats and a wheel and stuff. Some wrappers… an apple core…
“Anything of value?”
Oh, a TomTom, radio… some CDs… lots of friggin’ CDs!
“Okay, sir. The radio and CDs are still there, but the TomTom is missing.”
Wait… you just happened to notice my car had a broken window at 5am? Wow, you guys are good!
“Well, no, sir. They also pushed your car into the middle of the street. It’s blocking traffic. Can you please move it?”
So, I thanked them and waddled upstairs to put on some shoes. Four years we’ve lived here. Never had any trouble like this. Granted, until now we have parked in our own driveway, but due to construction we’ve had to park near the train station for the past two weeks. Dark, empty, spooky.
When I got to the car, I saw that they had busted in the small triangular, fixed window on the rear door. They’d rummaged through the glove-box and eventually put the car in neutral and rolled it into the street. As the cops had said, the radio and the pile of CDs were still there. Hmm… strange. Break a window and just steal a four year old TomTom (the original TomTom ONE!). But as I flipped through the CDs it became obvious why they had left them. Handel’s harp concerto. Chopin’s sonatas. Debussy. Pierne. Beethoven. Ibert. Ravel. This thief obviously had no taste for classical music. He was probably pissed not to find Lady Gaga and Jay Z. Tasteless.
After I filed a police report, I called the car glass company to get an estimate.
“Which window? Oh, the triangle one? Well, that was thoughtful of them. That’s the cheapest one to repair, sir.”
Well, they may not appreciate classical music, but at least they’re thoughtful!
