This Saturday, my wife and I are going to take the MENSA membership exam. While I’m not too excited by the prospect of actually being accepted to MENSA, nor am I too worried about the prospect of failing the exam and being denied entrance to this International Geek Club, I am however, terrified, petrified, horrified to the bone of the prospect of my wife getting a higher score or in any way out performing me. Imagine she’s accepted and I’m rejected. Imagine we’re both accepted, but her score (ergo: her IQ) is higher than mine. Imagine we’re both rejected, but still her score (ergo: her IQ) is higher than mine. The humility of it all!
Sure, sure, women are allowed to be smart too these days. Yes, I realize that intelligence does not favor any certain sex, race, creed, blah, blah, blah. But still, let’s be honest, stable families are based on a universal respect (or fear) of the head of the family, be it the father, mother, grandfather, grandmother, etc. By losing this battle of wits to my significant other, I would lose desperately needed ground in the power struggle of respect that defines the stability of our family structure. I’m already on loose footing, so this might just turn the tide and send our family back into a bloody struggle for the crown. Whoever eventually emerges as the new Head of Family is beside the point, but the struggle itself will have wasted much time and will have probably left some nasty scars.
So, for the sake of all, I must not be outdone! Win, lose or draw, I must not be beaten by my wife’s deviously clever Asian IQ! I fight this MENSA battle not just for my family, but for the very idea of family stability that is at the center of our civilized societies. My brothers and sisters, I fight this good fight for you! If I fall, we all fall.
So, this Saturday, it’s MENSA… to the death!
** UPDATE **
The results are in and, for the time being, our family stability is preserved!
